In my daily travels around the wonderful world of webs, I run across things that make me say “Oh, please.” This, unfortunately, isn’t one of those.

The Great List Of Console Role-Playing Game Clichés  isn’t even aimed at MMORPGs, but let’s face it…there are several of these that still apply. For example:

Garrett’s Principle
Let’s not mince words: you’re a thief. You can walk into just about anybody’s house like the door wasn’t even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that’s not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers’ houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

And my personal favorite:

But They Don’t Take American Express
Every merchant in the world — even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species — accepts the same currency.

I’ve never seen something that’s begging to be adapted to the world of MMORPGs as much as this. I couldn’t find such an adaptation, and for all I know, someone’s already done it, but is that going to stop me?

If you just said “Yes”, then you haven’t been paying attention.

The LagORama List Of MMORPG Clichés

1. When moving to their new land as an inexperienced person/demon/space cadet, no one ever remembers to bring anything with them, save one subpar weapon and the crappiest clothing they could find.
2. With trade skills, you can only learn how to do a couple of things at a time; if you learn a new discipline, you have to forget something you already knew to make room in your brain. (This lack of brain power is obviously the reason you forgot to bring anything with you when you moved.)
3. The world is full of nothing but specialists…no one ever cross-trains. Learning magic? No time to pick up swordplay pointers. Going to be a knight? They don’t have time to learn about living off the land like rangers. It’s all about the specialization, baby.
4. The proper way to be show gratitude for someone saving your family/relative/farm/business is to insist they run “fetch and carry” errands for you that any eight year old could do just as easily before rewarding them. It’s the only way to show you care.
5. Merchants come in two types…”general store” and “specific”. The “general store” merchant stocks basic things you need for your trade, and bread. “Specific” merchants will keep in stock weapons and items useful only to your class, and bread. Because when you get down to it, it’s all about the bread.

That’s all I’ve got at the moment, and I know I’m leaving a TON off. Help me out here, folks…what needs to be added to this list?

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Tags: cliche, games, gaming, mmo, mmorpg