I’m a fan of B-movies, and as a result was a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which usually said out loud what I was thinking while watching a bad movie.

Sometimes, however, there’s something that’s just so perfect an example of its type that it really shouldn’t have fun poked at it. Something that is so bad, it should just stand on its own merits, or lack thereof.

Having said that, the site for the new Korean MMORPG Asda Story is just such a thing. The bad part is this…I stink at following my own unwritten rules.

(Just to make sure no one thinks I’m making this up, everything’s coming from their official English website here, under “News”, named “Maximizing Asda Stor..”, and no, that’s what it says.)

You just know what this links to.

So hold onto your hats as we take a quick dip into the wonderful world of “When Translations Go Bad”.

Sweet 3D MMORPG Asda Story will start its Open Beta on December 6th, 2007. Based on a colorful, bright, and cheerful world, it is an easy game where monsters with powerful individualities.

Not only is it a sweet game, but it’s easy, too!

Lots of female users would be treated awesome and can have great tastes of this comfortable game easily.

You see, if you’re treated awesome, then it’s sweet, which is a taste. Stay with me here.

Asda Story is very appealing to female users because of unique Soulmate System. We had lots of female users in CBT, and all of them are coming back to play OBT of Asda Story. Among Soulmates, healing, summoning, resurrecting, sharing attack or defense points were most popular. No girls over level 10 were playing alone. This is very casual game to satisfy both sexes.

As opposed to other MMOs, where female characters have to scream for attention. And it satisfies both sexes, female and the other one.

In Asda Story, one of the greatest characteristics is ¡°Costume Fashion Show.¡± This is the very first system ever in MMORPG.

Wow. The very first system ever in MMORPG. Kinda puts those other games to shame, doesn’t it?

Korean and Japanese female users were very satisfied with this system where 40% of gamers were occupied with females.

“40% of gamers…were…occupied…with fe….” Let’s just move on, shall we?

We don¡¯t like TWINS.

And it’s about time a game took a stand on this issue.

It¡¯s only possible in Asda Story to arrange your own weapons and armors with special abilities.

As opposed to every single other game on the market today.

For example, there will be healers costume set which will provide extra healing points to increase healing.

Dammit…it’s not very sweet if the extra healing points don’t increase DPS.

Okay, enough of my smart-assery. For some reason, game companies seem to think that Babelfish is a perfectly acceptable alternative to hiring an actual translator when approaching a foreign-language market with their game. And that leads to the running joke that this has become.

They do seem to actually have an interesting play mechanic concept, the “Soul Mate System”.

So the characters hook up in-game, which makes them stronger, and the female withholds cybering until the male grinds out a few levels for her.

Or something like that.

It is one of the first play mechanics I’ve seen that actually plays into the propensity of some gamers to form relationships or marry in-game, and I like the concept.

Now, if only I could decipher the website, I would be able to decide exactly what the damn thing is.

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